BlinK*bLiNk*mYLifE*

Finally I have exhausted all my knowledge on papers,
and yes i know it is over! Done with! At last!
I been through this for life and hopefully for the last time;
I tend to think so far ahead and fill myself with fear
I booked a tic and flew across the ocean trying to run away
I know i will have to face it real soon
arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- dated - 30th July 2009



For now i am back, preparing to face my biggest fear of all
getting myself ready to be the lawyer to be
interview, interview, interview, interview, interview
and at last i've made my decision
however, everything still lies on the piece of paper stating " yap jyy huey-pass"
i am so afraid that everything will be back to square 1 because of 1 careless mistake i've done, pray hard, very very very very very hard indeed, i hope that all went well overall.

PRAY HARD for YAP JYY HUEY

for the past 1 month, i have been travelling around
the feeling was so nice that i wish i could stop the time
i dont remember bout my worries, i dont feel the pressure
it was such a wonderful feeling.

Yesterday i read about a very delightful and lovely confession, whereby there's a guy secretly fallen for a girl who is now attached and going through the pain of long distance. Knowing that she is attached the secret admirer is still willing to be there for her and awaits for the golden opportunity to confess. I would say the golden opportunity would be during her weakest point where her current relationship is going down the drain. I know i do sound unfaithful but what if she is not treated well by her current bf or not even enjoying her current relationship.

I was once told that, in a relationship there'll be a period where either party or both parties will be tired of each other. To a certain extent it is true but the ugly truth is that guys tend to allow themselves to enjoy the attention showered on them by other girls even though he is attached and they will deny and claim that they are just being friendly. Come on guys out there, learn to draw a line between friendly and emotionally cheating. On the other hand, some girls just dont know how to draw a line between friendly and flirting.

..... how i wish there's also someone out there waiting for me, to catch me when i fall, to be ready for me when i am heartbroken, to keep me occupied when i am lonely, to fill in the blank when it is not filled. i know i am so selfish.....i know i am.

I started reading my text book n doing notes since the 1st day of class *very kiasu indeed* but i still have alot more to do, is like never ending! The amount of work i need to prepare, the crazy time-table, weekends classes are nightmares, i really dont wanna go through the hardship all over again. So i realy want to make it through and pass this time.

I keep reminding myself that i must be able to exert considerable effort and withstand considerable stress and hardship. Time is really not on my side, i know i have 4 more months till exams but i can assure you that is not enough. I am worry and stress. As a result, i suffered from insomnia causing me severe headache and pimples on my face. However, i think i am feeling better lately by forcing myself to go to bed early regardless of the time spent starring at the ceiling till i fall asleep and swallowed down all the bird-nest and chicken essence i secretly filched from all the cny hampers. At least, now i dont wake up with headache and i can do my work more efficiently.

Please i just want a PASS, is okay even if i get a 3rd class for clp really! I dont have too high expectation so please god i need more luck and blessing, I will try my best to do what i could, so all i need now is a little bit more luck and blessing ermmm and Confidence which i am lacking.

my ideal plan is to finish all my revision by june and will hv 1 month time to test myself till mid july for my exams. I really wish everything goes well as planned. *fingers-crossed*

Please i must pass this time, Please Pray for me! I needs lots of prayers *

After studying for so many years, i never felt as lonely. The close ones are away, for now my BF is my BFF and my BFF is my BF. I started to adapt with being alone since day 1, being alone in class, sit alone, play with my hp alone, day dream alone and eat alone during break. So people started saying i am anti social and blah blah blah. The weird or somehow stupid and rather childish issue is when i started to mix around it turns out that i am stealing someone elses' friend. Somehow i appear to be some bitch or the worst person ever living in this world. Honestly, i really hate you for everything you've done. I choose to keep it to myself because i dont wanna hurt anyone but end up i am hurt and left in bad shape. Stop people, stop there and leave me alone, dont come and try to be my friend and later turn around claiming that i steal your friend away. Sometimes i wonder, if you are a good friend yourself, why bother worry your BFF will walk away from you. Please leave me alone if you hate me, is ok because i cant please everyone so just be it and hate me as long as you all like, just stop intruding into my life. Dont worry ,

i will still be nice to anyone who doesnt like, i wont retaliate or watsoever because life is just like a mannequin.

How i wish i could make you stay

How i wish I have someone like you to stay by my side all the time

How i wish we are not seperated apart

A kind soul who is willing to give in all the time

A good friend who treats me sincerely

A close one who cares about me like a sister

An empty heart, a lonely soul

Loneliness is heard in echoed footsteps of you departing

Loneliness in my teardrops and the silence of sorrows too deep to speak

you'll stay in my heart wherever you go

i'll be here for you whenever you need me

i'm just a call away

dont be afraid

i know you can make it